Passive Aggression Test
When someone has made me angry, I might stop responding to their calls or texts as a way to make a point.
If a coworker or fellow student isn't pulling their weight, I tend to match their low effort with minimal work of my own.
I've used sarcastic remarks to criticize people I'm frustrated with, then brushed it off as harmless teasing.
Even if I don't care for someone, I'd still pass along useful information if they needed it.
I've gone completely silent around someone who has irritated me as a form of punishment.
Sometimes I push away support from others because deep down I feel unworthy of their kindness.
Following a fight with my partner, I've withheld physical touch or emotional closeness.
I've claimed forgetfulness to get out of obligations with people I'm upset with.
If someone gets on my nerves, I might pull back from shared responsibilities or group activities.
I've shared private or humiliating details about someone who annoyed me, just to get back at them.
After being hurt by someone close, I might stop our usual routines like daily walks or phone check-ins.
When asked for help by someone I'm unhappy with, I could do a poor job and blame it on misunderstanding the request.
If a friend lets me down, I'll wait for them to make the first move before reconnecting.
When receiving praise I don't feel I've earned, I often assume the person is just being polite.
During low moments, I sometimes avoid activities that could lift my spirits or improve my mood.
I'm still ready to assist someone even if they turned down my request for help earlier.
If my partner overlooks what I need, I might retaliate by doing things only for myself, like cooking solo meals.
I've intentionally slowed things down or created delays just to frustrate someone.
There are times I crave connection or affection, but I stick to my usual schedule instead of seeking it out.
I can end a relationship with someone who has upset me, even knowing it might cause them pain.
20 questions remaining
What you should know
- People who are passive-aggressive usually do it because they are angry or hostile, or because they are frustrated that they can't say what they want to say directly.
- Ignoring others, putting things off, and not sharing information are all common passive-aggressive behaviours that can hurt relationships at home or at work.
- Some people use passive aggression to avoid taking responsibility or to get what they want. For example, they might ignore a chore that needs to be done at home until their partner gets so mad that they do it themselves.
- Passive aggression can be directed toward others or toward oneself. In the latter scenario, an individual's negative self-perception results in self-criticism, self-punishment, and actions that preclude receiving positive reinforcement and enjoyable interactions with others, who may perceive this as passive aggression directed towards them.
- People don't always know they're being passive-aggressive. They may have gotten used to pushing their anger down so far that they don't even know it's there, which makes them act the way they do.
Now is the time to change.
- Be careful: It's easy to ignore passive-aggressive behaviour because it's often indirect, but if you find yourself shutting people out when you're mad at them, that's a sign that needs to be looked into.
- Talk it out: People who are passive-aggressive are usually angry or frustrated with other people. It may be harder to talk about it in person, but it can make your relationships stronger.
- Think about getting therapy. A mental health professional could help if someone close to you is always being passive-aggressive toward you or if you think you might be passive-aggressive yourself.
