Limerence Test
I can't stop thinking about this person, even when I try to.
Thoughts of this individual keep popping into my head throughout the day.
Being near them makes me feel awkward or overly aware of myself.
It's hard to tell whether they feel the same way about me.
I hide how much I'm fixated on them from others.
I find them physically appealing and attractive.
I go over every conversation we have, thinking about what they meant.
I pay close attention to how they move or act when we're together.
Just imagining them fills me with intense happiness.
Everything seems dreamlike and surreal when they're nearby.
When they don't acknowledge me, it causes me stress or worry.
The idea of them turning me down scares me.
I've learned so much about their life that I feel like I understand them deeply.
Getting their notice makes me feel incredibly joyful.
How they treat me has a big impact on how I feel overall.
I struggle to concentrate on daily tasks because my mind is always on them.
Their happiness and health matter a lot to me.
Even a small sign that they might like me back makes me ecstatic.
18 questions remaining
What You Should Know
- Limerence is the need to be wanted by someone else. Limerent relationships are not about caring for each other; they are ultimately about oneself.
- "Infatuation" is the first stage of limerence. When someone is infatuated, they often feel good or excited when they think about the person they want.
- The second stage of limerence is called "crystallisation." At this point, the person realises how strong their obsession with the other person is.
- The last stage of limerence is "deterioration." This is a kind of coming back to reality. The person may no longer understand why they were so obsessed with the other person, and the idealisation of them fades.
- Limerence is not a mental illness, but it is not a normal part of dating. People can feel limerent for a few months and then go back to normal, or they can stay that way for years and it can change their lives.
What to Do
Get out of your own head: Try to watch how you feel and act. Is this crush different from others you've had?
Don't get too close to the other person. One sign of limerence is that it takes over your life. You can see if you can focus on other parts of life or if you still can't stop thinking about what the other person might be doing or thinking if you stop talking to them for a while.
Wait it out: Limerence usually goes away on its own. You could try getting lost in a project at work or at home to forget about the person. You might just be done with it after a while and focusing on other things.
