Is Your Adult Child Stuck?
Is your grown child living with you for reasons that don't involve school or saving up to purchase a house?
If your adult child went to college, did they finish and earn their degree?
Does your adult child currently hold down a full-time position?
When your adult child isn't employed, do they show real drive to secure a job?
Is your adult child handling their own money matters like credit cards and banking?
In your view, could your adult child successfully run their own household?
Are you able to have conversations with your adult child where you both feel like equals?
Would your adult child be able to support themselves financially without your help?
Do you sense that your adult child leans on you too much for emotional support?
Does your adult child own up to their choices and circumstances?
Do you feel your child has what it takes to maintain a serious romantic partnership?
Does your adult child engage in interests, creative pursuits, or community service?
Does your adult child keep in regular contact with their friends?
Does your adult child have trouble staying focused on a single objective or activity?
Does your adult child seem to shy away from situations that could be challenging or push them beyond their usual limits?
Is your adult child having difficulty figuring out their next steps in life?
Does your adult child get easily stressed or upset when facing big tasks or choices?
Does your adult child tend to depend on you rather than working toward greater self-reliance?
Has your adult child mentioned feeling trapped or dissatisfied with their current situation?
Does your adult child skip out on social events or family get-togethers?
20 questions remaining
What You Should Know
- Some researchers have discovered a novel phase of human development termed "emerging adulthood," characterized by individuals who are less reliant on family compared to adolescents, yet have not assumed conventional adult responsibilities, although they may be striving towards this goal.
- Economic factors significantly impact adult children who seem to "fail to launch"; a mature, employed adult child residing at home due to difficulties in affording living expenses elsewhere may not be considered "stuck." For a lot of families or cultural groups, living at home until early adulthood is normal or expected and not a problem.
- Being stuck as an emerging adult is not a clinical condition; however, research indicates that numerous adult children grappling with these issues may concurrently experience undiagnosed clinical conditions such as anxiety, depression, or ADHD, which impair their executive function and diminish their capacity to manage various adult challenges.
- Parents are sometimes at least partly to blame for a child who is stuck. A helicopter parent who has always closely managed every part of their child's life may have left them unprepared to live on their own. On the other hand, parents who are very critical may have raised adult children who are insecure and doubt themselves.
- Less than one in four young adults today are financially independent from their parents, down from almost a third in 1980, according to research. Around 10 million adults in the U.S. between the ages of 24 and 34 live with their parents. This number has been steadily rising. And men are more likely than women to not get started.
Now is the time to change
- Be reassuring. An adult child who is worried about moving forward because they feel like they are already behind may need to be reminded that becoming independent takes time.
- Encourage discomfort: Adult children who are afraid to leave the safety of their home base may miss out on finding new interests or getting close to someone.
- Talk to a mental health professional. A therapist can help your child set and reach their goals, and they can also help your family work together better.
