Gaslighting Test
After spending time with this individual, I often feel mentally off-balance.
My perspective gets brushed aside or ignored.
They frequently label me as overly emotional, suspicious, or irrational.
When I express my emotions, they accuse me of blowing things out of proportion.
Important items, details, or occurrences are kept hidden from me.
I find myself saying sorry even when I'm not sure what I've done.
My understanding, awareness, or recollection gets disputed.
Conversations with them leave me feeling uneasy or disturbed.
I start doubting my own memories and become uncertain.
They make me question my own stability and mental well-being.
I have to watch what I say carefully around this person.
They warn me that I shouldn't trust other people.
I feel pressured to justify my own take on what's real.
This person isn't truthful with me.
They act hurtfully toward me, then act like it never occurred.
I don't trust my own judgment when making choices.
They work to persuade others that their story is the right one, not mine.
I feel like I'm losing who I am in this relationship.
They attempt to make me believe I'm not capable or skilled.
They challenge how I see and interpret situations.
20 questions remaining
What You Need to Know
- Some of the tactics used in gaslighting are lying, blaming, accusing the victim of lying when they ask the perpetrator about it, isolating the victim, and telling others that the victim is crazy or delusional.
- Signs that someone is gaslighting you are when you constantly doubt yourself, lie, deny things even when there is proof, say one thing and do another, threaten things you care about, give you positive feedback from time to time, and turn people against each other.
- Gaslighting is something that happens over time. It might start with a small lie or two, but it could turn into a constant flow of false information and accusations.
- People with personality disorders, like narcissistic and antisocial personality disorders, are more likely to gaslight. Perpetrators may be charming and friendly in public but manipulative in private, which can stop victims from speaking out.
- It is hard to leave a relationship where someone is gaslighting you, but it is possible. Instead of confronting someone, trust your gut, gather evidence, and cut back or stop talking to them. If you need help, talk to friends, family, or a therapist.
- The word "gaslight" comes from the 1938 play "Gas Light," in which a man slowly dims and flickers the lights in his home to make his wife think she has lost touch with reality.
Do Something Now
Recognize the signs: The first step in getting out of a gaslighting relationship is to recognize the behavior. Be careful of lies, accusations, and manipulation.
Leave the relationship. In most cases, the best thing to do is to end the relationship or cut back on contact a lot.
Get help: A therapist can help you deal with gaslighting and other kinds of emotional abuse.
