Forgiveness Test
I still feel angry when I think about someone who caused me pain.
I try to see things from their point of view.
I get why they acted the way they did.
I'm able to stay on friendly terms with this individual.
I harbor bitterness toward the person who hurt me.
I think they have the capacity to improve themselves.
I'm open to engaging with someone again after they've hurt me.
I genuinely hope things go well for them, despite their hurtful behavior.
I aim to be compassionate about what they did.
I feel persistently irritated whenever this person comes to mind.
I don't feel much desire to make them pay for their actions.
I hold a grudge against a colleague who didn't pull their weight on our shared project.
I steer clear of conversations with this individual.
I refrain from pointing out faults in the person who wronged me.
I give myself grace when I mess up.
I can still recognize positive traits in someone who has wronged me.
I let it slide when my coworker makes a social blunder.
When someone lets me down due to circumstances beyond their control, I end the relationship.
I come to terms with what happened and feel kindly toward others.
I don't beat myself up over my own errors.
20 questions remaining
What you should know
Forgiveness is not the same as making up. If a friend hurt you, you don't have to fix things with them. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is something you do inside yourself when you make the choice to move on.
- When someone forgives, they usually admit that they hurt someone, think about it, accept what happened, choose to forgive, make things right, and move on.
- Being able to forgive can lower levels of stress hormones like cortisol. This can cause mood disorders like anxiety and make it harder to enjoy life, be creative, and learn.
- It may be harder to forgive yourself than to forgive others. When we do bad things, we are harder on ourselves. When we talk to ourselves in a negative way, shame, guilt, and regret take over.
- You don't have to forgive. People who have been sexually or emotionally abused may want to focus on their own healing and well-being instead of thinking about whether or not to forgive the person who hurt them.
Change Now
- Start small: forgiving small wrongs can help you get better at forgiving.
- Be kind to yourself: Don't punish yourself for making a mistake; it won't help.
- Get help: A therapist can help you deal with your pain and move on.
