Insecurity Test
Social gatherings make me nervous because I'm scared I'll do something awkward.
Deep down, I sometimes wonder if the people closest to me truly value our relationship.
Even small slip-ups trigger harsh self-criticism from me.
I frequently dwell on aspects of my character that I wish were different.
To me, failing feels like a disaster that must be prevented no matter what.
I believe my imperfections make me unworthy of genuine romantic connection.
In social situations, I often perceive others as more appealing or successful than I am.
Trying new activities makes me automatically expect poor performance.
Accomplishing goals tends to leave me feeling uneasy instead of satisfied.
Compliments from others make me question their honesty.
I regularly doubt the choices I've made.
I approach my own errors with kindness and understanding.
Receiving feedback feels like a personal assault on my character.
I seek validation from others before committing to important life choices.
My internal dialogue tends to be critical and unkind.
If someone close to me seems withdrawn, I immediately blame myself.
I actively pursue experiences that challenge my comfort zone.
Observing accomplished or attractive individuals highlights my own perceived shortcomings.
I worry that setting boundaries will damage how others view me.
I often assume people are judging me negatively in their thoughts.
20 questions remaining
What You Should Know
- It's normal to feel insecure; almost everyone does at some point. It can even be good for you in small amounts because it keeps people from being too sure of themselves.
- It may have even had an evolutionary purpose: Early humans may have worked hard on their relationships because they felt socially insecure, and thinking about their mistakes could have helped them avoid making the same mistakes again.
- But when insecurity is long-lasting or all-consuming, it can have serious effects on people, such as depression, anxiety, or avoiding risks too much, as well as on their relationships, which can be hurt by clinginess, people-pleasing, or jealousy.
- There are many things that can make you feel insecure. Some common causes of insecurity are parents who aren't involved or are too demanding, past traumas, failures, or rejections, a perfectionistic or neurotic personality, too much social comparison, or not having enough supportive relationships.
- People sometimes blame social media for making people feel insecure, especially teens. Social media isn't always the only reason people feel insecure, but spending too much time scrolling and comparing can make them feel worse.
- You can't get over your insecurity in a day. Fortunately, over time-and with the help of a therapist if you need it-you can stop talking badly about yourself, accept who you are, and treat yourself with the love and kindness you deserve.
Make a change right now
Write in a journal. Keeping track of the things that make you feel insecure can help you find patterns and come up with ways to deal with them.
Talk to yourself in a positive way. It might feel strange at first, but it gets easier with practice.
Think about going to therapy. It's normal to feel insecure sometimes, but if you think your insecurity is getting in the way of your life, a therapist could help.
