Conflict Avoidance Test
When disagreements happen, I usually stay silent and step away from the conversation.
Clashing with people makes me feel uneasy and worried.
I keep my disagreements to myself so I don't have to deal with uncomfortable emotions.
Being put on the spot feels unpleasant, so I steer clear of starting arguments.
I make an effort to accommodate what other people want and need.
I actively push for my viewpoint during discussions or debates.
Whenever possible, I do what others expect of me.
I gather input from everyone involved to solve problems and reach agreements.
I keep my issues with other people to myself instead of speaking up.
I don't stand up for my side of things when disagreements arise.
Before dinner with a challenging family member, I'd plan some safe conversation topics.
I present the strengths of my viewpoint and make my case to coworkers.
If a friend asked my opinion and I disagreed, I'd probably keep it to myself.
It takes me some time to settle down after a conflict has occurred.
I find it engaging to debate hot-button subjects like politics or religion.
Even when I disagree, I tend to follow along with what my peers suggest.
I don't see the point in using my energy to talk about differing opinions.
I dislike backing down, so I hold firm on my stance during negotiations.
If a friend sends a confrontational message, I delay my reply for a while.
When work meetings get heated, I stay quiet and let others express their thoughts.
20 questions remaining
What You Should Know
There are times when people have good reasons to avoid disagreement. They may have suppressed their needs in childhood due to a tumultuous upbringing, endured a capricious employer, or harbored fears of rejection.
- People see conflict in different ways. One person might see an interaction as contentious, while another might just see it as a lively conversation.
- One framework suggests five ways to deal with conflict: accommodating, avoiding, compromising, collaborating, and competing. Different situations call for different styles.
- When there is conflict, you need to find a balance between calmly and rationally talking about it and knowing when to stand up for yourself. You can learn how to deal with conflict in a healthy way.
- One useful script is to start a conversation on a good note, calmly say how you feel, and then bring up the problem. This makes someone less defensive and shows that they want to keep the relationship going.
Change Now
Pay attention to the things you do or don't do: Finding this pattern can help you figure out if or how you want to change it.
Look into why some people avoid conflict: It could be because of things that happened to them as children or because they have dealt with unstable people in the past.
Improve your ability to deal with conflict when it comes up: Some ways to do this are to look at the situation from different angles, speak clearly and directly, listen carefully, avoid making generalizations and blaming others, and find solutions that work for everyone.
